Wait a minute Mr. Ghostman….

In my first post I mentioned writing about some of the [cough] interesting men I’ve met online. This is the first of what I’m sure will be many posts about these experiences. There’s a part of me that feels incredibly vulnerable putting such private situations online but I really want to give 90 yr old me something to look back on and laugh at and wonder what the hell I was thinking lol.

A few months ago I “met” a guy on a popular dating app. I don’t remember what I was doing exactly but I was probably swiping in traffic with as much excitement as someone sitting in traffic can. I landed on a really cute guy who was a few years younger than me okmorethanafewyearswhatevershutupdontjudgeme and finally had a reason to swipe right. He was tall and handsome and he had more than one photo without sunglasses (sighhh but also ugh- I know). He had also actually written a short bio. If someone hasn’t written a bio it’s an automatic hard left regardless of looks. My favorite part of a man is his brain (don’t laugh) and if he can’t come up with a few words telling me something, anything, then I’m out. Explain yourself dammit. Anyway, his bio said he was from Texas and I was excited because southern and he seemed educated and intelligent and sweet. I know you can’t reeeally know all that from a bio but whatever, the point is I swiped right and found out that we matched! At some point I sent him a message probably saying something super sexy like “hi there”. He wrote back and said that he was hoping he would match with me (awwww). The online chat was light and lovely and went on for a few days. It’s important to note that the conversation matched the guy in the photos. Yep that’s a thing. I’ve chatted with guys who looked a certain way but did not “sound” like their photos and more than one turned out to be a catfish (more on that in a future post). He wasn’t pushy or demanding so when he asked for my number I didn’t hesitate.

Cut to about a week later. It’s an evening when I wasn’t working and I get a text asking if he could call me. What a gentleman! Of course I say yes so he calls and asks if I’d want to meet for a drink in about an hour. I said sure and we continued chatting. We laughed and bantered and the conversation was easy and fun. His number had shown up on my phone as a Dallas area code and he mentioned a couple of places I know exist in Texas so I wasn’t questioning anything. He offered to drive closer to where I live (awwww) and told me to text him the address of wherever I wanted to go and he’d meet me there. I said “great see you soon!”, he said “great can’t wait to meet you!” We hung up and I slowly started getting ready. About a half hour later I still hadn’t left but I texted just to see if he was on his way and what his ETA might be. No response. Ok, he’s being a responsible driver and not driving distracted. I texted another fifteen minutes later. No response. Hmmmm. I finally call him and THE NUMBER HAD BEEN DISCONNECTED! I was like uhhhh maybe I misdialed even though all I did was go to recent calls and press the number he had called me from. I call again. STILL DISCONNECTED! So I log in to the dating app so I can send a “hey dude what the actual fuck” message and HE HAD DELETED ME! I mean, I’m sure “you” saw that coming, but I was still kind of under the impression that it was a mistake and somehow I had gotten something wrong. I had not. I correctly hit the right number to call back, there was just no one on the other end. Just an asshole who had nothing better to do than mess with a total stranger I guess?

I talked to a friend a few days later and they said oh he must’ve had a Google Voice number. You can choose whatever area code you want and delete the number anytime so it makes it very easy to do what he did. Since we never actually met I’m not sure I can call it “catfishing”, so I call it “kittenfishing” instead lol. I’ll never understand what possesses a person to do these things. Why put in any kind of effort when you don’t even get to see the fruits of your labor? It’s not like he was outside my window seeing my reaction. He can only guess how I might have reacted and apparently that was good enough for him. All I know is that he wasn’t good enough for me or any other woman. Seriously, whoever said women are crazier than men was definitely a man.

Not sure what exactly the moral of this story is but I think it might have something to do with it being ok to be suspicious until you have a good reason not to be. I’m trusting to a fault sometimes and things like this happen because I never want to think that someone would intentionally hurt me. I’m not a dumb girl but I think my optimism and pie in the sky (mmm pie) mentality about people and love can act as a blinder to the truth. Maybe the lesson for us all is to keep our eyes as open as our hearts ❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *